Come On Contractions!

I am currently 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant, going on 10 years. I've reached the point where I feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever, growing bigger and lower every day. Soon I will have a belly that reaches my knees. I will have to home school my baby girl in womb, because it feels like she is NEVER going to come out. And God, you have one hell of an sense of humor. All the new pains that make me wonder and google for hours IS THIS IT? Is this what it feels like to go into labor on my own?

My delivery with Booboo was a great experience, but it was four and a half years ago and very medicalized. I was induced on my due date with him. At my 40 week appointment, my doctor asked if I would like to be induced. I was 17, miserable, and well aware that given this was my first delivery and my family history of very late babies, I most likely would be induced eventually anyway. My doctor also told me it would be for the baby's best interest-to avoid meconium in womb. But I had been dilating and effacing since 34 weeks, and was already 100% effaced and at a 2.5 cm range. And by the time I got to the hospital that night to be induced, I was at a 3.

So I've given birth before, but I don't know what to expect actual labor pains to feel like. And just when I start feeling things that people tell me to watch for (menstrual cramp feelings, back pains, or actual contracting of my uterus) I get excited that this could be it! Is this what you were talking about? I'm feeling lots of pain, so bring on the baby! Ill be preparing, packing my bag, and then it will stop. Suddenly. Not a damn thing happening. COME ON!!! Haven't I done my time yet???

Now would probably be a great time to deeply learn some patience.

And probably an even better time to practice my labor techniques. Each time these pains start, I moan, and uuuggghhhh my way thru them. I lean over the kitchen counter and lay my head on the cool top and wait for it to end. I completely forget about the breathing and meditating and visualizing things that I have in my labor arsenal. I do remember one tiny little fact tho, every time. 20% of pain is the physical sensation. 80% is the mental power I give the pain-most often in the form of fear. So is this pain really that bad? No, not really. I lay on that counter and think, this is nothing. I can totally do this thing. Now please just be more frequent and strong so I can hold my baby girl in a few hours!!!