Lost My Flame

Um..... so.....

I found some very old random lines of poetry and old love letters on my dinosaur of a laptop..

They arent very good, and I COULD take the time to edit them and perfect them but it would ruin the place I was in when I wrote them. They were last updated December 2008.

Here goes..



Between Head and Heart

Its extinct
Is it really?
I have to accept that it is.
Do you really?
I don’t know.
He said so

It cannot be.
I couldn’t see!
So everything is gone?
Not for long.
Love remains unscathed from mistakes.
Yet its not enough to prevent forsake
If that is not, what actions are??
I know of no things anymore

You know yourself.
I never knew who I could be until his touch
I never knew what I was missing til he came along
I never knew what I was losing til he was already gone.
I never knew depths in my heart could love so much
Im on a shelf

Why did you keep playing the game?
Sigh. Life will never be the same
You understand what you did wrong?
Didn’t cherish where I belong.

So what do you do?
I am going to strive to learn
Tho it does not stifle the yearn

I wish my life was joined with his.




And a letter..


My Dearest,

I love you so much.

My life has found its place with you. That night when you walked up to me, my heart fluttered in a way I never knew it could. My soul recognized you as its counterpart. I want to be so perfect for you; I want to be as wonderful for you as you are for me. I love the man you are. Im so thankful for the experiences you have had. I am so happy with you and cant imagine how much I would be missing if I let my head take control. You told me to listen to my heart only and it has moved me into your arms. I love you as my family.

Every time we make love, we reconnect in a way only souls recognize. Every part of me wants and loves every part of you. I KNOW that our future is going to be amazing. It is going to be rough but we will make it. We already have. I trust the Universe to provide for our love. I have never been so sure about anything in my entire life before. I want you

Forever and ever
For all time and all ways. Its never too good to be true.
Ive never been so sure.

Love.
-Me


And then I read the letters that he and I wrote to each other while I was gone on my cruise January 2009. Im not going to post them here, but the connection that he and I felt.. the passion.. I truly didnt realize how much I let that slip away. Where did the poetry go? The dancing? The giggling? The sex? THE DRIVE TO LIVE LIFE?!?!?!?

Even in heartbreak I have lost my flame.