After another break up with the man formerly known as the Love of My Life, I immediately turned into the old me that I dont like being. I accused him of not accepting me as I am. While that very well may be true, that is for him and only him to decide.
I harshly realized, again, that I would not care if he accepted me if I TRULY accepted myself. I was so angry at him when I should have been reprimanding myself. Being angry at him was only a coping mechanism so that I could avoid feeling worthless, alone, desperate, and sad. I believed that I was not worthy of love or acceptance, hence why I would not accept myself. It is still a struggle for me to change my negative belief, but it helps to know that all negative beliefs are false. ALL OF THEM!
I still havent forgiven him, and hopefully that will come in time as I keep working on it. Looking inward at my own insecurities and knowing that all my hurt comes from my own negative beliefs is helping once again. I am working diligently to create a positive accepting space for my own soul!
It took me a while to realize the bitter truth. But hey, Im learning.
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