One of the lessons I love best is called The Helicopter Story. All credit of this story goes directly to The Guru as he is the one who developed it and shared it with me. It has helped me many times to realize what exactly is going on internally so I may correctly address my pain.
If I walked up to you and said, "Oh, you are such a helicopter! That is absolutely disgusting! How could you be a HELICOPTER?!?! I dont ever want to see you helicopters again!" You would probably look at me strangely and tell me to get back on my happy pills. You wouldnt take me seriously. In fact, many of you would laugh at me because, obviously you are not a helicopter. The idea that you are a flying, functioning helicopter is absurd. My words would not offend or hurt because you know they are not true.
However, if I walked up and told you, "You are a bad mother. You should have your kid taken away from you," you may want to punch me in the face. My words would sting and your heart might fall, especially if we are close.
The second statement is no less absurd than the first one. Why would you feel pain at one and not the other? They are both personal, negative implications.
We feel pain at statements because either they are true, or we are afraid they are true. If you truly knew in your heart that you were not a bad mother, same as you know you are not a helicopter, you would laugh at me when I accused you of being both. I know that I am not a bad mother, but I am afraid of becoming a bad mother because I know I have the potential. That is where my pain comes from when I hear the second statement.
So next time someone says something that knocks the wind out of you, remember, you may be reacting that way because what they say is true. And truth hurts.
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