Come to Peace

“Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.”

-Oscar Wilde


(Ok, one more about love..)

I am a glutton for punishment. Seriously.

Talk about revolting against one's self.

So many times a day, there are things I WANT to say, and things I KNOW I SHOULDN'T say. Like today. I flirt, when I know it will only create awkwardness eventually. It may not be today, tomorrow may be lots of fun too. But it will come.

Being a single woman who ultimately WANTS to stay single for a bit longer, who has A LOT to figure out before getting into a relationship, is really hard sometimes. Because there is a HUGE part of me that really wants the cuddling. The sex. The KISSING. Soooo.. I flirt. When I know I shouldnt. When Im not sure he even wants me to.

I have erased the same text message 10 times. It took 20 minutes and a very forced hand to say "Ok." instead of "Jump in this shower with me and find out what a dirty girl I am."

TMI? Probably.

Like I said. REBEL WOMAN RIGHT HERE.

Why do I revolt against myself? Because the revolting feels so good. At least temporarily..

Its time I honor my higher self. Stop torturing myself and making my sleepless, alone nights terrible! I am happy being single. I feel the best when I love myself, and realize I dont need someone holding me to feel secure! I have platonic love all around me and IT IS ENOUGH.

Time for this civil war to come to PEACE!