Perspective Schmective

I joked (in my head, mostly) about how long today was going to be. I had no idea.

My daughter is screaming. All day and night. No seriously. Like she is being murdered and my soul crings every time. She won't sleep and refuses to calm down for even a moment. She also is pushing every boundary possible. And throwing that damn cup from her crib when its way past her bedtime. Then screaming.

My son just got home from two weeks with his dad so we are experiencing some readjustment time and I'm getting more frustrated than I probably should. Luckily he is snoring softly under my chin at the moment.

I also go on tv bright and early tomorrow to promote my new work and do a demonstration. So tonight I am helping get the website ready for launch which means I'm a little stressed and inevitably picking at my face which should look great for the hundreds of viewers tomorrow.

And then I find out that the man I love, the one I made out with a few days ago? Yeah. He is moving forward with his life. And I'm not going to be a part of it. I knew this day would come and really Im happy and excited for him. Its about time he realized his rockin awesome power and incredible self. My daughter's life will be forever blessed because of the moment tonight of overcoming his fears.

And yet I feel heart broken. The underlying belief? I'm not good enough to be moving forward at his side. I'm not going to be a part of his life because I suck. Ok, processing myself in 3..2...1.....

Correction: I did suck. I didnt feel good enough or worthy. ::Deep breath:: I do not believe lies. I believe Truth! So.. New belief: I trust God and the Universe that I am on my best path and he is on his. Those who are meant to be in my life and with me on my journey will be. Just like you invisible readers.

So I'm sure all these stresses today come back to the negative self-beliefs that snuck their lil heads back into my beautiful day. And then they feed on each other like rabbits in a secluded forest.

Because the Truth is, I have been given an incredible family, an incredible job, and the most incredible lessons I could ever ask for. And an extra amount of sunlight to live my incredible life in today. How's that for perspective.