You know who you are. You know why I am directing this entry at you! You are facing certain hardships in your life that I absolutely have experienced as well. And, like me, I know that you are an amazing, powerful woman totally capable of taking this on!
You are terrified to truly and deeply examine your life. Self-discovery was the most frightening thing in my life! I get the fears! I hid from everyone and everything in my life. I was rarely truly myself with those around me, no matter how much I loved them. Even when I thought I was being myself, I wasnt. I was so guarded! Insecure! Alone!
I learned that I was mostly hiding from myself. I did not want to look at myself so I would point the finger, quite literally, at every person around me. If I could convince myself everyone else was to blame, I didnt have to look at my shortcomings. I avoided taking a long, intense look at myself because I was afraid I wouldnt like what I had found.
I know all the times I hurt others. I know all the lies Ive told. I know all the judgments I immediately made on people, even those I love. Even if no one else in the world knew, I know. I thought if I examined my life, I would see that I was to blame. All I would see is the person I had grown to HATE. I hated my constant failures. I hated my lack of talent. I hated ME. Why would I ever want to have a meaningful relationship with that person??
The most amazing realization filled my heart and soul with song on the Friday of my life. I am NOT my judgments. I am NOT my experiences! I am NOT my pain. I am NOT my mistakes! I am NOT my family, or my image, or my future. I am NOT the walls I caked around me; I AM the DIVINE, PASSIONATE WOMAN INSIDE! I am completely separate from all the things I hated about myself. THEY ARE NOT ME! When I did truly remember who I am, I found out I am a part of that divine God who created me. I am in God and God is in me. I am That, and That is me! I am pure light and I CHOOSE who and what I am. I choose to be loving. I choose to be compassionate and free. Today, I choose to be me!
It seems almost silly now, that I was afraid of examining myself. When I closed myself off from me, I also closed off to God. I didnt allow myself to experience the unconditional love I have for myself and that God has for me. All Ive ever wanted is love. Its been there the whole time! All I had to do was accept it!
I want you to experience the wonderfulness inside of you! All it takes is to be willing to look deep down inside you, filter past the bullshit you cake on top, and choose to be the loving, pure child inside! I love you with all my heart. You truly are my girl and I am so blessed to have your love and support and acceptance in my life. Now you deserve to feel that too.
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