Letting Go of Judgment

I woke up between the two most beautiful people I have ever known-my son, Bug, and the Love of My Life. I laid there smiling at both of them, studying the curves of their faces, wanting to capture the moment. I thought about how I would draw this moment, a new pasttime Ive been enjoying. I thought about how a photograph would capture the pure love in both of their faces. Then I realized, this love is here to stay! I can experience this as often as I choose.

I love my family. I love the love and attention we can give to each other. Yet I yearn for an addition. Ive been seriously baby hungry for about 3 years now. I want a little girl more than anything else tangible in this world. I want that angel to be born into a loving and secure family. Can I provide that at this moment? You bet your ass. Are we married? Nope. Are we a healthy, secure family? More than ever.

I have held on to the fixed belief that I must be married to have a healthy family. A huge part of that belief has been because having another baby out of wedlock will attract all the judgments from my friends and family AGAIN. I lost most of my friends as a teenage mother. I sought their approval and acceptance and yet again, was denied.

I have let go of that judgment. I was the person judging me the most. And now, I know that I am whole and perfect. My family is whole and perfect and a baby will only add to that whenever it happens. With or without the approval of my family! I accept me!